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As I drove in today, I spoke with the guards as usual. They love me, and love to engage in coversation. So I do that for them...
Today one told me he is leaving to work for UPS, and the older gentleman told me to watch out for Hamas. Seriously. He said to expect a terrorist attack here at Milken.
As if I wasnt feeling horrible enough.
The construction company is taking advantage of me. They are manipulating me, and pushing me, and stressing me out.
School is a bitch.
Im starting a new, full time job in a week and a half.
The shit has hit the fan.
I need "me" time. I need to exercise. I need to relax. I need to come home to my home, to a sanctuary, not to this hell. This week and next week, I can come into work late, or not even at all. I can take my time, get my homework done, and try to think of ways to deal with the construction situation. I fear my new job because there wont be any flexibility... I am getting my MBA to get a better job, now I got one, and I know in 2 years I will need an even better one, so I must keep getting the MBA... but how do i handle this all?
Ive learned that I can not do everything by myself. The question is, who do I go to for help?
The Dr. Shrink lady told me to drink water and exercise. She told me not to neglect my health.
I feel like Im living my mothers life, just a few steps ahead. Ive got so much on my plate, and I too, must do it alone. My goal: to do right by her, and to make her proud. At the same time though, I know I already have suceeded in that. So maybe I should slow down, and take care of myself too. That is what I wanted her to do before, during, and after her diagnosis. She did eventually, and it was too late.
I want a full life. If this construcion can just get done... I will only have work and school, which will still be difficult. But it will give me a rhythem, and then I can throw in running and relaxing. I can manage that.
I can imagine coming home to a beautiful home, and feeling better... I can imagine coming home on my lunch break to eat a quick but and walk the dogs every single day. I can imagine having Shabbat dinners, and using Shomrei Torah. I can imagine running after class 2 days a week, before class once a week, and weekends. That would be 5 times a week. I can imagine drinking water, remembering to eat... I can imagine life with someone I love, who respects me, and who I respect too.
Today one told me he is leaving to work for UPS, and the older gentleman told me to watch out for Hamas. Seriously. He said to expect a terrorist attack here at Milken.
As if I wasnt feeling horrible enough.
The construction company is taking advantage of me. They are manipulating me, and pushing me, and stressing me out.
School is a bitch.
Im starting a new, full time job in a week and a half.
The shit has hit the fan.
I need "me" time. I need to exercise. I need to relax. I need to come home to my home, to a sanctuary, not to this hell. This week and next week, I can come into work late, or not even at all. I can take my time, get my homework done, and try to think of ways to deal with the construction situation. I fear my new job because there wont be any flexibility... I am getting my MBA to get a better job, now I got one, and I know in 2 years I will need an even better one, so I must keep getting the MBA... but how do i handle this all?
Ive learned that I can not do everything by myself. The question is, who do I go to for help?
The Dr. Shrink lady told me to drink water and exercise. She told me not to neglect my health.
I feel like Im living my mothers life, just a few steps ahead. Ive got so much on my plate, and I too, must do it alone. My goal: to do right by her, and to make her proud. At the same time though, I know I already have suceeded in that. So maybe I should slow down, and take care of myself too. That is what I wanted her to do before, during, and after her diagnosis. She did eventually, and it was too late.
I want a full life. If this construcion can just get done... I will only have work and school, which will still be difficult. But it will give me a rhythem, and then I can throw in running and relaxing. I can manage that.
I can imagine coming home to a beautiful home, and feeling better... I can imagine coming home on my lunch break to eat a quick but and walk the dogs every single day. I can imagine having Shabbat dinners, and using Shomrei Torah. I can imagine running after class 2 days a week, before class once a week, and weekends. That would be 5 times a week. I can imagine drinking water, remembering to eat... I can imagine life with someone I love, who respects me, and who I respect too.
